i know i havent written on this for a long as time i just have so much on my mind and no where to put it all
for thoughs who dont know ive been seeing this girl named kelsie for a month now she was my girlfriend for a few days after knowing each other for a few days crazy stupid of me to ask her huh??? i know but i havent dated in so long i forgot how ( dumb to say but i get dumber dont worry) so we see each other almost every day and we fool around almost every other [( not sure how i feel about this i mean i like it physically and i like how close i feel to her when we do ( havent had this kind of connection with some one in a long long time) but at the same time im worried that thats what its going to turn into and i dont want that i really like kelsie because of her mind and how she is always happy she always sees the good (something i dont think i do enough) and she likes to talk and is easy to talk to but she doesnt like to have serious coversations [( which i like to do so she thinks i DEEP haha (which i like that she thinks that) and i want to see from her in time] i dont know why but the first day i meet kelsie i thought one off two thing A. she is going to be my next real girlfriend (meaning she will be with me for a long time) and really like that thought (expecally now) or B. she was going to be just a hit and quit it type deal and at first we started talking and then i kissed her and she kissed me back and i thought it was just going to be B. but i called her the next day and to my suprise she talked to me and we started hanging out than i asked her out (stupid yes) but she did say yes and we were together than a few days later were talking and she tells me that we are moving to fast i thought she was meaning physically so i asked and she said ya a little but not what she meant  she was talking about how we were in a realationship after knowing eachother for a few days and she was right it was way to fast so i said when do you think you would be ready (like there is a set time and date to it what was i thinking gets worse dont worrry) she tells me in a week or so i say ok we date and hang out and talk everyday that week so i asked and she said no haha oh my this sucks well ok no worries i said and that was that then i waited one more week and asked again but this time i was a dick to her that day i dont know why i was i really didnt mean to be but i realize i was granted it might be to late to do anything about it but i know i did and thats what i can learn from to treat her better if givin a second chance but during the day i came over around 10ish or so and we were talking and i brought the girlfriend thing up and i told her if she wasnt my girlfriend than i would be wasting my time [( ok pause im a dumbass for saying that and a BIG ASSHOLE for saying it) and anytime i spend with her is my favorite time lately and i realize how lucky i am that she wants/wanted to spend time with me] and that gets dropped but she was upset about it (no duh right) but it keeps going and i keep talking about it and she says that she doesnt want to date me until its been a month and i said it has been and in this i called her stupid (yes im an asshole im sorry kelsie i really am honest) and than thing keep going on and we keep talking about it and then i have to go home cause its late and ya so i get to talk to the girl i really like alot ( who i can really see myself being in love with after some time of course not to freak anyone out) to stay with me and try and keep things how they were cause right now she wants me to see other people and i dont want to she is the only person i want to see right now she is the one who i want to spend my time with she makes me laugh and smile and feel good and she takes my shit and can put me in my place i really hope,........ really hope that she will forgive me for being a dumbass and not seeing what i really had with her was great and if she doesnt want to be my girlfriend yet or ever than im cool with that as long as i can have thing how they are ill be loving life cause i really do love where things are at and i hope that they just keep getting better with her and maybe someday will get there but i dont  care when we do anymore (honest) now i just have to know if she forgives me or not?,................. i really hope she does and we can put this all behind us and just stay how we are

drama drama drama lots of drunken drama and people still say shit why isnt the high scholol bullshit over i mean fuck in hell im in college cant people fucking grow up ok story i was at work and then came home my roomates were drinking and they had a girl over because her friend ditched her to go fuck DJ so she stayed at my place and i started hitting on her and one thing lead to another and i asked her if she wanted to go back to my room and sleep she said yes so i took her back to my room and we cuddled up and talked for a while about nothing and everything  it was great and after a little bit of that we made out and that was it we talked a bit more than we fell asleep and it was cool it was one of my first times i had a girl in my bed for the whole night. morning came along and  i woke up and my arm was under her and it was asleep and soar but its was ok i just woke her up  and she looked at me and i kissed her and she kissed me back it was nice and i asked if she remembered last night and she said she did and we kissed a little and went back to sleep and then her friend that left her called and asked if she wanted to go home and she said she didnt care it was up to her so this girls friend said ok ill be over in a bit and will go so i hear the knock on the door and answer it and its her friend so we both get out of bed and right before she left i gave her a kiss and sad bye (mind you while we were sleeping we were both clothed and ya) so i wait a day and then send her a text saying hey wats up and she sent one back saying whos this so i told her and then i got my ass chewed out for saying that we slept together and i was like bullshit cause i told my roomate that we just made out so ya i was like where did you hear that form and she said her friend told her  and her friend said that DJ was the one who told her and i was like bullshit so i went over and asked what he heard and he said that we just made out and i had him text her that and after that she hasnt talked to me other than to tell me she was busy and ever since that she hasnt said a word.

umm the girl front is not there and when it is i kill it anyways so it doesnt matter i dont know but for some reason i have lost my game like bad and it sucks balls but i hopefully will pick it up soon but ya i scared on i meet form the hot tube away i think for good oh well wat you to do i just need to controll what i say cause i treat people sometimes like friends who have know me for a while and know when im kidding and when im not so if they say something like hey im hopping in the shower i text you when im done i kinda said well wat room you in and ill join you in that shower just kind like i would with kaite and kaci and alot of other girls i know that i have that kinda relationship with but ya and i think that scared her off pretty bad so ya